


Second Thoughts

by cocinerosyco



Series: First Impressions [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Moving In Together, Zelenka is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:56:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cocinerosyco/pseuds/cocinerosyco
Summary: The question of settling down was something John was mulling over.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: First Impressions [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089008
Kudos: 35





	Second Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for my friend Lisa and posted on LiveJournal in 2010. It's pretty, you know, of its time.

John enjoyed his job, really, he did, but what he particularly loved were the weekends. Being the boss, he _could_ go in on weekends, but what was the point of being in charge if you still had to work weekends? Live a little, enjoy the perks. Sleep in, relax with coffee and the morning paper, play a little golf, throw in a movie and fall asleep on the couch. Sometimes it felt like the only thing that had changed between his college days and his current life was the price of the couch he was falling asleep on.

He took a sip of his coffee and picked up his pen. He tilted his head a little, considering the ad he was looking at. He'd need at least four bedrooms, but maybe going for five would be wiser. He circled the listing and moved on, deciding to call later and get a little more information. John had rented all of his adult life. He'd never had any desire to take care of a lawn, clean gutters, repair plumbing issues, and all of the other happy homeowner tasks that people wanted when they settled down. Of course, he'd also never wanted to settle down before.

John picked up the last half of his bagel and glanced up at the clock. Going on ten thirty. Just as he was making a mental decision to go upstairs and wake Rodney up if he didn't drag his ass out of bed within the next half hour, he heard the telltale banging of a man running into his dresser - correction: John's dresser. And before Rodney could say anything, no, it had never been moved, no, it was not out to get Rodney and neither was John. Rodney stumbled down the stairs, leaning heavily against the wall as he did so. John set down his coffee and positioned his newspaper so that he could look at Rodney over the top edge. He was dressed in a stretched out white undershirt and baggy boxer shorts with limes on them (a gag gift from Zelenka's trip to Mexico), sporting severe bedhead and a red mark on his face where he'd pressed it into his watch; John let a small smile creep over his face watching him. Rodney scowled at him and then at the sun, as though asking how dare it wake up early, and John's smile grew a little bigger. He was about ready to stand up and go over there and maybe do something embarrassingly mushy, but then Rodney turned and his eyes grew wide.

"Oh, I can't believe - seriously, the nerve of some idiots -" and Rodney snatched the paper out of John's hand and began reading the article on the opposite side of the page, mumbling to himself about string theory and insufficient data and idiocy at the highest levels. "Oh, thank you," he said, grabbing John's coffee. And just like that, all thoughts of doing anything, embarrassingly mushy or not, left John's head as Rodney crumpled up his paper. Maybe he wasn't ready to buy a house after all.

~

Three weeks previous, John had been in the middle of a very boring day at work when Zelenka had come in to deliver some final paperwork for his department. A position had come up with the Department of Defense in D.C. and the idea of living in the same city as his long time girlfriend had made it a no brainer. No matter how much John might want him to stay, Zelenka was leaving DJS, and leaving his position as Head of Science and Technology open. John knew who he could put in the position, but his dating Rodney, no matter how low key they were (and doing anything with Rodney was never low key), could cause complications with his exec board. There was also the matter of his staff. John shuddered at the reaction he'd get from his assistent if she had to deal with Rodney more often. So John was taking the situation seriously, and he'd have to meet with the board to even start to consider a promotion for Rodney.

Zelenka had mentioned to John the house he'd found for Liz and himself just outside of Washington, and talked a little about settling down, maybe getting a dog, staring off into the distance as he thought about the possibilities of surburbia. Even after Zelenka went back to his office, John was left considering what he'd said. A house? Cohabitation? Did Rodney want that? Did John?? They'd been dating for several months now, but Rodney had never said anything, and it wasn't like they stayed up late talking about their feelings. John made a face.

He snatched a piece of paper off a pile and quickly divided it into two columns. On one side he listed the 'pros' of moving into a house with Rodney and on the other, 'cons'.

**Pros:**

Dating for five months  
Mid 30s - time to settle down  
No need to trade off at each other's place at night  
I ~~li~~ ~~lo~~ ~~like~~ love Rodney. Maybe.

**Cons:**

Too much togetherness?  
Rodney is a giant slob  
Two emotionally unavailable guys - bad idea?  
Rodney doesn't want to (??)

John clicked his pen as he contemplated his list. The last on the 'cons' side was pretty much a deciding factor. If Rodney didn't even want to do it, what would happen when John put himself out there with the idea? John was seriously uncomfortable thinking about it. On the other hand, he thought maybe he was in love with Rodney and he didn't think he'd mind buying a house with Rodney, sharing a bed every night with Rodney, cooking together in the kitchen (or maybe just ordering takeout), watching movies and falling asleep on the couch on weekends. John tossed his pen on the desk, coming to a decision. He'd look around at listings, figuring out what they'd need before he approached Rodney. It was best to have everything set up and arranged before asking Rodney. Rodney was less liable to fuss unnecessarily that way.

~

Course, making a battle plan didn't mean John didn't question it every single day since then. Every time it looked like a tornado (F3, John had judged) hit the bedroom. Every time Rodney burst into a meeting that John was having at work with a complaint against the incompetence of his staff. Whenever John asked him a question and he got a "Working!" as a reply. And every single time John watched Rodney oh-so-subtly check out an attractive woman, he wanted to just find a concrete wall to beat his head against.

On the other hand, there were times when John felt like he wouldn't ever feel that way about anyone else. He'd never had a relationship so built on humor, even in bed. And Rodney was a genius, and it made John feel smarter just to hang around and listen to him talk and watch his hands - it was amazing. Rodney was really blunt, sure (sometimes too blunt, but really, it's not anything John wasn't already thinking about Stevens, so it was rather like having someone playing his internal monologue with no repercussions) but that means he was also candid in bed. And as someone who had difficulties communicating on an emotional level, John appreciated that if Rodney didn't like something, he said so, and if he did, he moaned loud enough for John to take a hint and keep going. John couldn't underestimate how great it was to have that kind of relationship after so many crappy and, to John, mysterious relationships.

John went back and forth on the moving-in issue for weeks. He went through listings on good days, circling the promising ones with red pen, happily thinking about having a place for his surf board, about finding just the right furnishings for Rodney's office, and buying a bed that was theirs. On the bad days, those listings with their red circles went right into the trash, and Rodney got the silent treatment for the day. 

The day after the DJS Exec Board had decided Rodney's credentials and expertise overrode any personal relationship he had with John and decided to recommend promotion, John lay in bed, thinking. He glanced down at Rodney, snoring into John's side. He thought of his pros and cons list, tried to imagine them living together, tried to imagine living alone if things went bad. Then he just watched Rodney sleep for a little while, before deciding what he was going to do. He'd ask Rodney in the morning.

~

"Oh thank God."

That wasn't quite the reaction John was expecting. "Excuse me?"

"I thought you were breaking up with me."

This was like John saying he wanted pizza for dinner and was Rodney okay with that and Rodney running outside and shouting about zombie chickens in response. He shook his head slowly. "I'm still not following. Where did you get that idea?"

Rodney fidgeted for a minute, scraping his fingernail along the edge of the chair. "Well, you said they were considering me for Zelenka's position and I figured they'd have a problem with us dating. And then you seemed really happy when they _did_ want to give me the job, and I figured..." Rodney trailed off.

Okay, John could kind of understand that logic, even if it was crazy person logic. "So, you figured I'd promote you and then, because I'm so dedicated to my company, I'd break up with you."

Rodney nodded. "Well - and now I know you're not." He waved his hands around as if John was about to argue a point. "But I really wanted the job, and turning it down would have made me feel awful."

Any progress John thought he'd made into the conversation suddenly halted. Rodney had thought he'd had the job, but he'd have to not date John anymore, so he would have, what? Given up the job? To keep John? "Wait. You would have turned down the job if it meant I couldn't date you anymore?"

Rodney looked annoyed as he responded. "Well, yes," he said, impatiently. "I mean, where else am I going to find a really hot CEO with a fairly high level of intelligence, who doesn't annoy me, and who actually wants to sleep me, and even better, date me? Obviously I'm not going to find anyone better."

Rodney saying he was "fairly intelligent" was like saying John was a genius in normal people speech. John raised an eyebrow. "Clearly," he deadpanned.

They were both silent for a few seconds, and John was going back and forth in his head on whether he should bother to bring up the whole moving-in thing in this conversation again. Maybe he was jinxing the whole thing by speaking of it. Hell, he was pretty sure he could handle switching apartments every weekend, sure, no problem. Just as John was about ready to find some reason to be somewhere else, Rodney spoke up.

"Uh, yes. By the way. To your question."

John froze, just long enough for Rodney to get nervous and start babbling. Just as Rodney was going to follow John's game plan and leave the room in a hurry, John pushed the shock away and pinned Rodney against the counter.

"Really?" He tried to stop it, but his muscle control had no defense against the smile that wanted to appear on his face.

Rodney smiled crookedly back at him. "Yes."

"Awesome." John was still grinning as he kissed Rodney, but he figured it didn't really matter, since Rodney was smiling too much for them to do it well anyway.

"Okay, this is great, because I have some ideas on places. I think we definitely need five bedrooms. I mean, with my office, and your office..."

John felt that familiar uncertainty about the whole thing as Rodney went on and on about home offices and master bathrooms and really, did they need a backyard because they were getting a cat, not a dog, and besides, did either of them grill anyway? No. But it hit him that the feeling wasn't too much different from the feeling he always got around Rodney, that floppy feeling he got in his chest, and if John thought about it long enough, he kinda liked the floppy feeling.


End file.
